Waiting for Him: Nyotalia x Hetalia
by Chloebee102
Summary: Spain x Fem!Romano- Angst and fluff  Lovina isn't happy with him leaving on this trip. Sure she's old enough, she's a "big girl". But she will miss him. She doesn't like to be alone. Will she always be alone...Will he ever come back to her? If he can...
1. The Hair Ribbon

Waiting for Him:** Nyotalia x Hetalia**

Pairings: Spain x Fem!Romano, eventual Germany x Fem!Italy and others.

**Warning for Lovina's language.**

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><p>I sat with my feet hanging from the dock. Back and forth, I watched my olive tinted legs swing on the old, worn wood. The teal ocean below me bobbed softly for once, mellow and quiet. Resting my head on my resting palm, I gazed at the rippling water. <em>'He will be gone soon, like he always has'<em>

_Like he always does._

My vision glazed over as I mindlessly stared at the water. Breathe, blink, and repeat, over and over. Maybe the ocean could wash all my feelings away. Maybe, just maybe. Then the water changed colors, revealing a new image. Him. I kicked my foot at the water, sending him away…But he didn't go. I turned my head up to meet his eyes. Kind, emerald and, sparkling but somehow a bit less than usual. I let out a soft breath and pulled my feet from the water, taking his outstretched hand. So warm and embracing. Protective. _'No. You can protect yourself. He can't protect you.' _

"Hup!" He grunted as he pulled me onto two feet. "What were you doing here, Lovina?" He questioned, his head tilting to the side, letting his wavy brown hair flop right. _'Mm…So cute'_

I shook my head furiously and painted my face into a glare. "N-Nothing dammit you, bastard!" I huffed at him. He has no right to question why I was moping here. Even though I wasn't moping!

He sighed softly and placed a hand on my cheek. I could feel all the blood rush right under his hand, my face growing hot. "Nothing isn't ever nothing with you y'know" He said with a small laugh, stroking my cheek. "I-I…It is nothing!" I mumbled. _'He won't try harder. He's always an idiot. My idiot. He'll think it's nothing. He will.'_

Suddenly his eyes turned serious, staring right into mine, forcing me to look at him. "Lovina. Don't lie to Boss. Is it the trip? Is that what's bothering you?" His thumb caressed the side of my cheek. _'God how does he know how to break me…'_

I closed my eyes, forcing his look out of my vision. "I…Just, why do you have to go? It's a fucking stupid t-trip…" I stuttered out, clenching my eyes shut even more, even letting my thick, chocolate hair fall over my face. But there was his hand again, the free one, pushing it aside. _'Why can't he let me hide for once dammit?' _

"Lovi. I know it's for very long and you'll be on your own…But I have to. There's this land across the sea, filled with wonders. I have to find it, you see. But then I'll come back. With riches and many wonderful things. I'll come back for you.

**You**, Lovi."

Taking grasp of his hand on my cheek, I pulled it to my back and forced him into a hug. As always, I fit snug into the crook of his neck, thanks to my recent growth spurt. He curled his strong arms around me, fitting his head on my shoulder. His hugs were always the best, ever since I was little. "You promise, idiot?" I murmured into his neck, taking in his scent. Sugar, cinnamon, garden, and fish.

"Cross my heart hope to die!" He said cheerfully, pecking my cheek in an instant. Too quickly he let go, holding me back with his hands, looking at me. "Say…I may have something to give you a smile."

I blinked at him in confusion, turning my head to the side. "E-Eh? This better not be another stupid tomato…" I huffed. The last fucking thing I wanted from him is a _tomato_. "Heh it's not a tomato silly Lovi! It's this~" He reached his hands behind his head and pulled a long red ribbon from his overly grown ponytail. _'His ponytail ribbon?' _I simply stared silently, watching his hands.

"We just do it like…Hm like this!" He beamed at me, leaning over my shoulder and pulling up my hair. He swiftly tied the ribbon up and over my head, securing my bangs in place. He grinned and admired his handiwork. "See, it's a headband now! A pretty, red headband for my henchman!"

My hand went up to my head, tapping the soft fabric atop it. So silky and smooth and if I angled my head just right I could smell him from it. "You truly are cheap, aren't you bastard?"

"Heeeyy! I'm not cheap Lovi, I'm creative!" He tapped a finger to my nose, shining his smile in my face. "Now smile for me won't you? I could sure use one. Boss hasn't seen one in a while!" I blinked at this man. This Spanish man, standing just a head taller than my teenage frame, waiting for a smile. I'd miss him. I always did. **Always.** I shuffled my feet on the wooden dock, making up my mind. _'Do I smile for him? Do I let him have the satisfaction of one?' _. Shaking my head, I gave up my inner battle. Letting out a soft, heavy breath I gave him a genuine smile. Warm and bright, like the sun he'd always say.

He let out a easy laugh, his eyes focused on my face. "Ahh that smile! Like the sun and moon doing a dance, so pretty and soft." He said as the usual bastard he is. Out of nowhere a large **HONK** disrupted his gaze as he whipped around to look at his ship. He turned back to me with a hurt look. Time to go, it said.

"W-Wait bastard…You don't have anything from me" I said, grabbing his hand, not letting him leave me just yet. _'Another moment, give me just a moment.' _And that's when his eyes did a dance, lighting up the air around me. "You have something for me, Lovi?" He asked, I could hear the hope in his voice. "Yes…" Sticking a hand in my pocket, I fumbled around for the piece of paper. Finally I pulled it out from the bottom of my dress pocket, placing it in both his hands. "Now don't you fucking dare read this til your ship is far away, got it Toni?" I forcefully said at him, putting my point across.

His eyes gazed at the worn paper envelope in his hands and gave me a curt nod. "I won't. Thank you Lovi." The ship's noises got even louder as the sound of an anchor being pulled out was heard. He shook his head out of the clouds and gave my hand a squeeze and my cheek another peck. "I'll be back Lovi! Cross my heart, I will! Just wait for me!" He yelled as he ran, clutching the letter in his hands and running onto the boats deck far ahead.

Just wait? _'Oh how I wonder if he realizes how hard that task ever is, to simply wait with nothing, except a ribbon.'_

And there I stood, a 16 year old girl, crying on a dock in public.

Red ribbon tied expertly into my brown, wavy hair that waved in the breeze, my green dress hugging me too tightly for comfort, hazel eyes that only watched a ship take off into the blue, tears streaming down my face. I wiped at my cheeks and eyes, only making the mess of my face even worse.

I always cried. Every time he left. **Always.**


	2. The Music Box

Waiting for Him:** Nyotalia x Hetalia**

Pairings: Spain x Fem!Romano, eventual Germany x Fem!Italy and others.

**Warning for Lovina's language.**

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><p>I couldn't let myself show how weak I was without him, how I wanted to break in half when he was gone. Looking around at the staring townsfolk, sticking their noses into a weeping girl's business, I simply ran.<p>

Far away. Down past the bakery, past the cobbler, through the alleyway, up the path, up the hill.

Higher, higher, don't stop running, or the tears will come.

I ran until I could run no more, collapsing on the steps. Wrapping my arms around myself, cocooning myself from the rest of the world, I will not let anyone in. Sticking my head in between my arms I finally could cry. Loudly, annoyingly, horribly, however I wanted to fucking cry. The tears fell quick and fast, soaking my face, arms, and parts of my dress. But I couldn't stop. There were too many plagues of worry in my mind. He always made stupid, idiotic promises; the idiot can't keep all of his promises. _'Can he?'_

What if the ship sank?

Or he got sick.

Or the land had madmen on it.

Or or, what if any damn thing happened! It wouldn't surprise me a bit. Not one bit. He always gets in trouble. Ignoring his boss and trying to save me, buying me things when he should be at meetings, making me laugh when he has paperwork to do. But that's the best part of him isn't it? How even if there were a million things on his desk, he'd come and play with me when I was restless and pouty as a child. "He always cared for me…But does he now?" I sobbed out in between the flowing tears. I'm bigger now. I'm not a child, I'm just his henchman. Boss' henchman. _'Oh but how I'd like to be more…'_

That's when it hit me.

**More.**

I didn't just want to be his henchman anymore. I don't want those pecks on the cheek just to be boss' way of saying goodbye. Or the hand holding just to give me directions in crowd, no I wanted them all to be something different. Not platonic ways to show love, I wanted romantic ways.

Slowly I pulled my head up, heavy with thought. Now I realize this? When he's long gone, out on the sea? Too far away to tell now? I felt the last tear fall from my eyes as I clutched my legs to my chest. I've finally realized what's been bugging me so lately. Scratching at the back of my head every time he was near. I've grown taller, slimmer, and bigger in more ways than one. And so has my love. I can encompass more feelings than a child. And all I'd like right now is for him to encompass me in a hug. Tell me it's alright. 'But he can't and would never anyways…'

I dragged myself off the rough steps and pulled open the door to his house. Walking with determination and pin perfect posture past the servants in the kitchen, letting them gape at my red, puffy face. Walking down the hall and up the stairs to the second floor, where I finally ran. Running all over again, to a different destination. I slammed the door open, hearing it slam itself closed once more as I landed onto my bed. Soft and just a hint of comfort in its old sheets.

'_Clear your thoughts Lovina. Don't be stupid. You can't love him! It's Antonio, Boss, the Idiot, the Bastard!'_ That's it. I'm just being stupid. A stupid, dizzy-headed teenager. This isn't a crush, or love. I cannot love him. There's no way. No how.

I'm loud and rude. He's funny and kind.

I like telling others off. He likes giving others hugs.

I don't care about anyone. He cares the world about me.

I'm the Henchman. He's the boss.

This can't possibly work out. Let's just add the fact we're damn countries on top of all that!

Curling around a pale pink pillow, I hugged it close. "Being a country fucking sucks." I hissed into it. This pillow and this ribbon are all I have right now. That and the constant thoughts about him that won't dare reach a conclusion. So many negatives, so many things that would hold us back.

All that and the fact he wouldn't dare to love someone like _me _like_ that_.

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><p>I awoke to faint notes leaping through my ears. Each note carefully being plucked with care. They were quick but sweet, sounding like a happy melody. I pried my eyes open to find the source. Blinking sleepily in the afternoon sunset, it dawned on me I slept all past lunch. Finally getting my bearings as I blinked myself awake for the last time, I pulled myself into a sitting position. In my hands was the still the pillow. Turning my head back and forth I spotted it. The noise maker. <em>'Who started my old music box…'<em>

Then a memory hit me, strung along with the tune.

_I wasn't much taller than one of the large pumpkins in our garden. Full of energy (and a few cuss words) it took extreme amounts of patience just to talk to me. And yet Boss always had all the patience in the world. As we'd sit in the gardens out back, watching him dig out weeds, as I complained of how the sun was going to kill me constantly. He'd always laugh at that. And that one hot summer's day nearing the end of July he brought it._

_"Oh Lovi I brought you something!" He exclaimed, trampling his way to my side on the grassy patch I sat on._

_"Eh what do you want idiot?" I mumbled as I saw he had something behind his back. Curiously I tried to peek but he simply laughed at me, giving me a pat on the head. "Silly Lovi don't peek! It's a surprise!"_

_"Surprises are stupid, just give me it!" And with that he made me hold out my hands and close my eyes, as he placed something hard and cool into my hands. I popped open my eyes to see a tan wooden box, plain and simple with just a latch on it and nothing more._

_"What is this shit? It's just a box!" If anything he could've brought me a stupid tomato, not an ugly box._

_Another laugh from him as he tapped the lid of my box. "No no Lovi it's more than that. This box is you!" I looked at him, extremely confused because I'm not a damn box I'm Lovina. He saw my expression and continued explaining with his usual overused enthusiasm, "You see Lovi this box represents who you are. On the outside the box is simple and neat, nothing to weigh it down or make it flashy. Just like you. You are Lovi, just yourself. But here's the magic, you see inside the box and you-"He cut himself off as he flipped the latch off the box and held open the lid._

_A small tomato popped up and began to spin inside the box as a beautiful song played as it spun. Flowers were painted inside, sparkling and shimmering in the bright sun high above us. It looked absolutely stunning to any small child's eyes. I immediately perked up._

_"-Is something magical and wonderful. You want to know what's inside the box, see? Because the inside of the box is the best part! And that's also the best part of you Lovi. You are this box and this box is you. You may be just a box on the outside, but on the inside you're shining and beautiful." As he finished he shut the lid to my box. Ending the fantasy inside, locking it up so no one else could see._

_What was I supposed to say?_

And to this day I still can't remember if I even said anything. I pulled myself off the bed and quickly snapped the lid shut. The last thing I need is to think about him more. My fingers lingered on the wooden surface. It's still so smooth and dust-free after all these years. _'I wonder…'_

However before I could finish that thought, a servant burst through my door, without warning and grabbed me by the hand.

"H-Hey where the fuck are you taking me?" I yelled at her as she began dragging me from my quiet sanctum.

"Isabella would like a word with you, Miss" The girl said quietly.

This _can't possibly_ make my day any better can it?


	3. Tears on Tomatoes

Waiting for Him:** Nyotalia x Hetalia**

Pairings: Spain x Fem!Romano, eventual Germany x Fem!Italy and others.

**Warning for Lovina's language.**

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><p>So there I was being dragged down the long, echoing corridors without my consent, by a simple servant girl. I decided neither to fight nor walk with her. I let myself become limp and lifeless, to be dragged along to the Queen's chambers. Who knows what this woman wanted with me. She was a good Queen, I'd give her that. She was however was not even close to being fond of my presence here. I was just an unruly, misbehaving colony of Spain's and nothing more. <em>'Which really is all that I am isn't it?'<em>

My thoughts were ripped from my head as a large oak door slamming brought me back to reality. I blinked twice and regained my sense and composure. And there sitting prim and proper on the golden encrusted throne was of course, Queen Isabel I, waiting to give me god knows what. Her blue eyes drilled into me. I could feel the tense air. This _will not_ be good.

"Hello there Miss Lovina" She said addressing me with her soft voice. You couldn't help but bow to her; she had this kind manner that made you think _'Oh how wonderful and nice is our beloved Queen!' _Of course that is until you have her hate sitting in your lap, 24/7.

I took a deep breath and muttered out with a curt bow "Hello your Majesty." Nothing more, nothing less. I will not let her get anything out of me.

"I see you're upset by your….Boss' leave of business." She said with a sigh as she brushed a strand of her auburn hair to the side. "Now listen Lovina. He will be gone for a year; that can't be much in a countries time, yes? I'm sure he's told you of the riches to be found in the land across the sea! Why Columbus says there is gold and rich land abound. So you can't possibly let your sorry self mope for an entire year."

'_Watch me you, ass. I can and will'_

"Anyways, I have a task for you to follow. And you will do it with **zero** complaints do you hear me?" I finally turned my vision from the ground to her throne. What was she going to make me do? Chores?

"I see that caught your attention. So, I've decided that since Antonio was your _only_ caretaker in these walls, I'd see to it you're properly taken care of so I will know you are causing no nuisances. And I believe the only way to make sure you will have proper care is to sent you off. To where your sister is being cared for."

Sent…off? To where my Sorella i-Shit. Shit shit shit. **SHIT.** With that stuck up, prissy Austrian?

"NO! I will not go live with my damn Sorella and that asshole in Austria until the stupid bastard comes back! There is no way you can fucking make me go!" I screamed at her, fists clenched at my sides in rage.

Guards began to shift from all corners of the room, ready to pin me down if need be. I knew their behavior and they knew mine _very_ well. Her eyes hissed with fire at me, but she didn't even flinch from my yelling. "Like I said, there will be no arguing. Your bags have already been packed and there is a carriage waiting for you out front. You will leave in 30 minutes, **with** or **without **force."

So that's it. I'm being forced against my will to the last place I want to be right now. And I have to leave all this. The last bit of him I have is here. And now she wants me to simply walk right out and not think once about him. And the one thing that bothers me the most of this arrangement is: _'What if he never comes back'_

The autumn wind blew against the back of my neck, sending tiny pinpricks of chills down through my spine. Clutching my music box in hand I walked along the same dirt worn path I've walked down most of my life as a country. The box felt cold and useless in my hands. _'Kind of like my heart right now…'_

After a few minutes of walking in the silence of the late afternoon, I stopped at the patch. The patch that every spring is ripe and full of red, delicious tomatoes. The patch that everyday he'd show me how to properly weed and water them until it was drilled into my thick skull. And the patch that will now lay barren for the year, because he and I are long gone. The stalks will wilt. They will die and blacken without care. And maybe, just maybe when we, if we ever, come back they may once again bloom bright.

I smoothed out my dress and planted my knees in the dirt, soiling my dress and no minding a bit. Brushing my hand along the soft dirt, I ran it through my fingers over and over again. Let the earth slide and fall around until it left my grasp and fell back to where it belonged. Carefully I sat the box down. I let out a heavy sigh and moved my fingers to the latch. Flipping it up and open I let the music play like it did many years ago. The small porcelain tomato popped up and danced in its place with the shimmering flowers.

_"No no Lovi it's more than that. This box is you!"_

_This box is you!_

_**You.**_

And for the very last time, I cried for him. Letting the salty tears stream down my face to the soft soil around me. One after the other they fell and fell until the music box ended its melody. I let my last tear fall onto the tomato plant beside me. My one small tear was impractical to it. The plant will die anyways in no less than a month. I slammed the box shut, letting the latch fall into its usual place. Pulling myself and the box off the ground, I let my last words stay with the plants.

"Goodbye memories. Goodbye happiness."

One of the many castle servants reached out a hand for my box.

"Here Miss, let me take that and put it in the box."

Saying nothing, I bit his hand. His yelp was amusing, so was his frantic dance of pain to rid the throbbing from his hand.

"Aaaaeeee! Agghh!" He groaned and rubbed his hand, giving me a look of disgust. With an edge he simply said "Fine. Get in the carriage."

Stepping into the opened door I planted myself and my box on the nice leather seats. _'You'd think by now, they'd all know to ignore me.'_ A jolt pressed me against the seat hard as the carriage made its way down the long Castle road. I could hear the trot of the 2 white horses' hooves against the slabs of stone. 1, 2 slap. 1,2 slap. Constant and in tune with each other. I wonder if those 2 horses are friends. Maybe best friends. And maybe this is the only time they get to spend with each other, carrying mostly important people around. Or me. And maybe at night they wish they could talk more, but no they're in stables far from each other.

Here I go getting lost in my mind again.

**EEEEKKKK! **

My face slammed into the cushion in front of me. "Oof!" I grumbled and rubbed my nose. _'Someone obviously can't fucking drive a damn carriage.' _My door opened and servant held out an unhappy hand to let me down. I rolled my eyes and jumped out, clutching the box tighter. I could hear piano music not far away. And something else. A very loud girl.

"SOREEELLLAAAAAA!" Well, time to put on a fake smile.


	4. Shimmering Memories

Waiting for Him:** Nyotalia x Hetalia**

Pairings: Spain x Fem!Romano, eventual Germany x Fem!Italy and others.

**Warning for Lovina's language.**

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><p>Slowly stroking the shimmering exterior, I eyed the ruby ring with distaste. 'You shouldn't be looking at this. You'll only miss her more' is what I told myself. But I couldn't help it. The ring was shining and red, like her blushing cheeks. Ah how I remember the day we got it. Well…more like I did. She still doesn't know about it. Running my thumb over the implanted ruby, I swore I could see her face in it. No, not her mature, beautiful face. The younger, pouting one of hers she used to always have glued to her head. The long braid trailing down her back. Her green sundress floating with the wind when it would pick up. And her curious, small, hazel eyes looking for something to give her opinion on.<p>

_"Bosssss!" She whined loudly and impatiently, tugging on my pants. I looked down at her with a smile, ruffling her hair._

_"Now Lovina you have to be patient. We're getting close don't worry Chiquita."_

_Taking her small hand in mine, I swung it happily as we swerved through the crowds of people at the Sunday market. Women with crying children, men dressed for church, or farmers with dirt dusted pants hovering around yelling out produce prices. You could find anyone or anything here. At times her hand would try to pull me towards a various tomato stand, or one with something that always caught her eye. Usually I always shook my head. We were here simply for groceries and as much as I wanted to buy her the toys or candy she desired, my wallet wouldn't allow it._

_Except one time when she pulled me right to the stand anyways._

_That girl has such an iron grip sometimes. "Lovinita you know we can-AHHH!" I yelled, being dragged arm first to a stall surrounded by glass cases. Her childish feet pulled me with such determination, I almost lost an entire weeks of tomatoes to the dusty ground. "Come on bastard!" She huffed at me, tugging me to the cases with all the might she could muster. Giving a soft sigh and surrendering to her wishes, I let my tiny henchman finish dragging me to God knows what she wanted to see._

_We came to a stop right in front of a case, which was in front of a finely dressed man with a large grin._

_"Why hello there princess, something sparkly catch your eye?" He asked, leaning on his case and giving her a wink. I muttered under my breath, tightening my grip on her hand just a smidge. Her eyes were fixed on something in the case. Practically glaring at it with want. "Lovina what are you so determined to see?" I questioned, stooping down to her height and scanning the various items in the case. Nothing but extremely expensive diamond rings or wedding bands. 'Why is she so interested in this…' I wondered._

_"This, bastard. Right there." A small pudgy finger pressed itself against the clear glass, pointing straight at something red. I tilted my head a bit, scrunching my eyes at the item, confused at why she would care about a ruby ring. "Ah someone has a taste for brightly colored jewels I see?" The man mussed, reaching a hand under his case and pulling out the ring, holding it in front of her face. He had her full attention literally in his hand._

_"W-Whoa…" She mumbled, reaching out to grasp the ring in her tiny hands. "See this?" She said, turning herself to me and holding up the ring in my sight. I finally saw what it was. A ruby tomato with an emerald stem, gleaming in all its glory. "This is what my husband will buy me. This right here." She puffed at me._

_The man chuckled softly, hearing her determined nature. "Now Miss, I do hold rings for a bit. But ah…not for 10 years." His fingers went to the ring, plucking it from her fingers as her features fell. "B-But…" She mumbled softly, looking almost hurt knowing some other grown-up lady may wear this ring. And not her. Standing myself back upright, I looked back to the case to see the price of the ring. Extremely out of my budget. Not a chance I could get it. Taking a deep breath, I turned back around to tell her the price was too insane for her or I, when I realized she had already stomped her way out of the stall, standing and pouting by the path waiting for me._

_The poor girl. All she wanted was this…If only I had the money. Sighing softly, I jammed my hands into my pockets. Right onto something sharp. "Ow! The heck is that?" I said, fishing around in my pockets and pulling out something gold. 'Oh wait I remember this.' It was my Queen's ring. She had dropped it in the hall about a week ago, I had almost forgot I was meaning to give it back to her. Turning the small golden loop in my hand, I had an idea. To the Queen, this was just another ring. But to Lovina…_

_Carefully I placed the ring in full view on the man's case. "How about we do a little…trade perhaps?" I questioned him, savoring the look of interest on the seller's face as he saw this golden beauty. "Trade…Hm" He mused softly. Picking up the ring delicately and examining it with a thick gaze. Turning it round and round in his fingers, I let out a deep breath. 'Will he even accept this? Just for Lovina…Please…'_

_"A trade for this ring just for the other?" He said, looking dumbfounded._

_"Ah yes…Is that too much to ask for?"_

_"No no…It's worth double this ring"_

_"Double?" I was in shock. I could actually get her something she wanted. Something meaningful._

_"Si double sir, would you like anything else?" As he gestured to the case I scanned it over, nothing really catching my eye. Shaking my head I took the shimmering ring into my hand. "No just this sir. Keep the change" I said as I slipped the ring into my pocket, giving him a genuine smile. I had got it for her._

_Her little hand was suddenly tugging on my pants leg. "Hurry up bastard you were supposed to follow me!" She huffed and pouted, scrunching up her nose. Reaching down I ruffled her hair and smiled back at her. "I'm coming don't worry Lovina._

I shook my head, feeling the boat rocking as I pulled out of the memory. 'See now you miss her more…' I sighed, knowing I should really find something else to fixate on. But what else is there to do on the ocean blue? Flopping back against the rough sheets on my bed, I groaned, running my hands through my hair. "What do I do…Why can't I stop thinking about her…" Closing my eyes I sat in the silence. Staring at the darkness called my eyelids for minute after minute. Stomach slowly rising up and down with each breath. I thought only of her. Her and my country. Both were so equally important to me. Was she ok? Is she being treated fairly? How's the garden? How are my people? Will this voyage even be good for me?

'Stop thinking, you're going to explode at this rate' I thought it. But my thoughts wouldn't stop. Everything was one big worry. How would I know she's ok? All I have are our memories if…something dares to happen. Only my memories and-I jerked up, looking around my cabin. The letter.

"Where did I put it?" Standing up I went over, tossing article after article of clothing behind me. Checking pocket after pocket. "Did it just vanish? Think Antonio. Where did you last put it? Where…" Then it hit me. Getting down on all fours I stuck my head under the bed and pulled out my boots. "It's got to be in here!" I exclaimed, digging my hand around in one of the boots and pulling out the small envelope from that day that feels like so long ago. Falling to the ground I turned it over and over in my hands. Its exterior, so worn and handled, reminded me of leather almost. Rough yet soft all in one. I grimaced slightly as I read the only word etched onto the back of the envelope in messy scrawl.

Antonio.

Blinking at it, I contemplated what to do. 'Hmm what was it she told me to do with it again? Open it? Were there rules? God I can't remember!' I threw it down in front of me in a huff. I couldn't remember a thing about this envelope.

But I could remember everything about her that day.

That red ribbon framing her thick mass of curly chocolate hair perfectly. The way her skin shined in the sun, looking so soft and beautiful. And her eyes. Those eyes that can speak a thousand words without a single noise. Glancing around, lighting up in surprise, or casting downwards in embarrassment. They always were the window to her soul. That's why with Lovina you use her eyes. You hold her steady by the shoulders and look straight into her eyes and say what you have to say, leaning down to her soft lips for a k-

NO. No no no! 'Antonio you are not allowed to think this way! Boss' little henchman. Little girl. She's just a child! You are not allowed think this way. Countries don't love like…that.' My thoughts nagged at me, forcing the images of her aside. The envelope slid into my leg as the boat swayed, even pulling me to the right a bit. Grasping for the envelope, I kept myself steady on the worn ship floor. I clenched the scuffed envelope in my hands, taking a deep breath. If I don't remember her rule I can't open it can I? That would be ungentlemanly. 'Rule…Rule…What was it..?'

I stared straight at my name on this paper. From Lovina to me. There is something in here that will tell me who knows what. But it's from Lovina. She said…Open it when, open it when I what? Scoffing under my breath I muttered. "Screw the rules."

Sticking my thumb into a loose hole on its flap, I carefully peeled it back. There were only 2 pieces of paper in here. Peering inside I flipped between the 2. One looked fresh, written barely a month ago. While the other looked ancient, ripped and torn here and there, threadbare in some places. 'This is going to drive me crazy unless I read them.' I sighed knowing it is true. Plucking out the older of the 2 papers, I handled it carefully as I pulled it apart and stared at the blurry words on the paper soon coming into clarity.

Here goes nothing.


End file.
